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There was a time when a girl was born in Indian families, the mothers used to only think about getting them married. Daughters were a huge burden for their parents. Parents used to save everything for the marriage of their daughter. Slowly things started changing. People started educating their daughters. They decided that it is better to educate the girl child and then to get her married. But it is not just education, some people just want their daughter to study, get a degree and get married. But this does not work everywhere… like for EG. My case.
My mother was a teacher in a high school. She quit her job because she had to take care of two kids and had lots of responsibility towards the household. In spite of being well educated, right from the time I was born she was saving for my marriage. I was a topper in school and my parents wanted me to be a doctor. My Mom always wanted me to be the first ranker in the class and I always stood by her expectations.
But I could not get a medical degree and my destiny ended up in making me an engineer. When I was about to complete my graduation, my Mom one day came to me and said that she wants me to get married. She told me to either find a job or to get married to her choice of groom. I wanted to pursue Master’s degree and felt helpless. My Dad came to my rescue and helped to get admission for Masters Course as he understood my situation. Dad’s always love daughters more J
But during the last year of post-graduation, my Mom again pressurized me to get married. I was married when the 6th semester was still on. I wanted to get a job before getting married. I wanted to be independent. I was just 22 and it was not the right time according to me to get married. But Mom stood by her decision and got me married to a guy whom she chose. It happened just within a span of 3 months. My friends submitted all my project reports in college. My Mom kept scolding me to learn to cook. Since I belonged to a joint family, I never cooked in my life. I felt that it was the worst thing happening in my life. My Mom used to scold me and say “Please don’t put my name to shame at your in-laws house. Please cook something there.” (Typical traditional Mom you see…)
But today when I look back, I think it was the best thing that ever happened to me. My husband is a lovely soul. He helped me fulfill all my dreams. He helped me to complete my post graduate degree. He accompanied me for my final semester exam. He helped me find a job. We decided that we would have a kid only after 4 years so that I get settled in my professional life. Though Mom was constantly pressurizing me to have a kid, it was my hubby who stood beside me and helped me to achieve my dream.
Today, 10 years down the line, I am working in a multi-national in Bangalore as a software engineer. I have a 6 year old daughter. I manage my job and my kid alone and I take care of my kitchen too. From a girl who never ever cooked before marriage, I learnt to cook and I now successfully run this Blog named Raksha’ s Kitchen. I am now helping other people to cook different types of dishes.
It happened once, that my Mom did not know that I was running a food blog. My aunt from US called Mom and said that Raksha is running a food blog and it is very famous all over. Since then my Mom is proud of me. She says that she can’t believe that I cook so well.
Yes, I too say I am a mother and I am a software engineer who work full-time in a software company and I attend late night meetings and I am a food blogger and a food photographer. Thank God, I did not become a doctor as my parents wished for. My heart called me towards what I wanted.
It was all because of my hubby that I am Raksha of Raksha’ s Kitchen. Some people think that I don’t do any job but I only blog. But when I tell them that I write a food blog and I work in a multi-national in the IT hub of India, they just say... wow. Some people ask me, how I find so much time…. I tell them it is passion.
I love my job as a software engineer too. But it is my passion, my hobby which is making me run this beautiful food blog. So this is my journey from OR to AND. I have both talent AND brains AND Beauty AND wisdom. I chose to listen to my parents AND still pursue my career. That didn’t stop me. I still went further to pursue my passion AND chose to have a healthy and a beautiful family.
You too can use your AND. If your marriage is planned and you are in same situation like me, don’t worry, you are a girl of the 21st century and you have lots of AND’s in life. So #UseYourAnd and put an end to the one-dimensional labels that limit your potential. Go ahead and pursue your passion, your dream and all the things that define you.
My journey from OR to AND was possible only because of my husband’s support and I want to thank him for helping me everyday.